I'm a Living Social Experiment

I feel like I'm living and growing up in some sort of social experiment.

Is this just me?

It's interesting to me that I am able to reflect on my life and can vividly see how much of it and myself has been shaped by technology, the online space, and various social media platforms.

I have now been online and in front of a screen for 20+ years (that's more than half of my life!). And what makes me nervous is the fact that this is all still fairly new.

If you're anything like me (a 90's baby), then you might have experienced a similar upbringing in that the first eight or nine years of your life were spent playing outside all day until the street lights came on, or until your mom would yell your name from the front door, and you had to quickly say bye to all your neighborhood friends and run inside for dinner.

And then before we knew it, a computer was introduced into many households.

Who remembers AOL Instant Messenger? And their first screen name?

And it's only now that I can see just how much of my life has been consumed by the online space and consequently, social media.

AIM was only the beginning for me and my 'social' journey in the online space. Next (from what I can recall), was Xanga, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and now... TikTok. This then means that I have been actively on the Internet, and specifically on social media platforms, since ~1999.

Upon reflecting on this, it makes me wonder how severe will the long-term effects of being in front of a screen for more than two-decades be?

These platforms are so powerful and it genuinely scares the fuck out of me to think about where technology is going, especially in the realm of social media.

Instagram:

Note: it should be made clear that I will mostly reference Instagram as Instagram has had the most negative and severe impact on me and my life thus far.

Instagram has shaped me into who I am today:

It's taken me a loooooong time to like myself. An extremely long time.

I'm 30, and I can only now for the first time in my entire life look in the mirror and confidently say that I am a beautiful human being. For the first time in my entire life, I can confidently say that I love myself for who I am.

And honestly, I didn't know if I would ever get here.

And the main reason is because of comparison. Comparison to other girls on Instagram.

I would scroll through Instagram and constantly think to myself,

"Why am I not that beautiful? Why doesn't my body look like that? How can I get my body to look like that? Why don't I have nice clothes? Why can't I travel to the most beautiful destinations? Why don't I have a nice house? A nice car? Why can't I afford these things? Why don't I have a perfect boyfriend? The perfect relationship? What am I doing wrong? What's wrong with me?"

Although I can now look back at all these things and realize how absolutely ridiculous they are, this wasn't always the case and it has taken a lot of work to get here.

The algorithms:

Instagram (and various social media platforms) have been designed and built with only one goal in mind: to get the user to spend as much time as possible on their platform.

Because the more time that you spend scrolling through a social media platform like Instagram, the more opportunities they have to filter you advertisements.

And this is because the more advertisements that they filter you, plus the more time that you spend engaging with an ad or if you take an actionable step from that ad (for example, click on it), the more money that they make off of users like you and I.

And that is the ultimate goal: more profit.

Therefore, in order to get people to spend more and more time on their platforms, these algorithms are designed to be addictive.

In order to accomplish this, the algorithm is designed to learn every single thing about you and I. From location, age, pronoun, buying habits, scrolling habits, emotional triggers... everything.

And they are able to do this by tracking our every single move. Every single action that you make on a social media platform; every click, view, tap, double tap, and 'like', is carefully tracked, monitored, and recorded. From the type of content you view and engage with, down to the millisecond of how long you spend to view a piece of content on your screen.

And this is because the more data that they can collect, the more that they are able to learn about you and able to accurately predict your actions, buyer and user habits, and even emotions.

These platforms are so powerful that they can not only correctly predict your emotions but can also filter you different types of content to trigger and perpetuate said emotions.

And they do this so that we continue to scroll (and purchase products).

Researchers have found evidence that “distributional reinforcement learning” in AI algorithms mimics the dopamine reward system inside the brain.

Dopamine is one of the brain's eight neurotransmitters. A neurotransmitter is a chemical that carries information between neurons.

Dopamine is known as the "feel good" hormone. It is responsible for allowing you to feel pleasure, satisfaction, and motivation.

This correlates with social media as well. We are addicted to instant gratification. And so every time we receive a new notification such as a 'like', a bit of dopamine is released in our brains and we feel a sense of "pleasure" which we associate with said 'like' and are then left wanting even more (leading to addictive behaviors and patterns).

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It makes perfect sense.

I can recall moments where I would find myself being completely engulfed by platforms.

I would scroll through my feed FOR HOURS, lusting over influencers who posted their most beautifully and perfectly, aesthetically-feed fitting photos in the most exotic and vibrant destinations. And after hours and hours of scrolling in awe, I was always left feeling worse. I was always left feeling even more empty and invalidated or worthless than ever before.

From the first thing I did when I woke up in the morning to the very last thing did each and every night - it was pick up my phone and scroll through Instagram. And this went on for years.

Constantly, I would mindlessly pick up my phone for what seemed to me, no reason at all, open the app and scroll. I recall moments where I would be working on a project for class, and my mind would begin to wander and I would find myself going to pick up my phone and scroll through Instagram. I would watch a movie, and find myself thinking about what notifications I might be missing on Instagram and so I would pick up my phone and scroll. At any given "free" moment, I would find myself almost unconsciously and unintentionally turning to pick up my phone and open Instagram.

I was addicted. Severely. And I wasn't aware of it.

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However, the more that I was on the platform for our business (OMM), the more that I began to not only learn more about the platform itself but I finally realized the ultimate goal.

I finally realized that the more time that I spent on the app meant the more money that I was directly/indirectly contributing to people who are genuinely more concerned with profit than they are with my (or your) safety or mental health.

And that thought changed my mindset forever.

Social media + mental health:

There are still moments where I will catch myself mindlessly scrolling or comparing myself to others. Or moments where I will scroll through comments and catch myself paying mind to the "trolls" and the negative comments.

It's in those moments that I can quite literally feel my entire energy start to shift. It's as if my whole aura goes completely dark and negative. And it's in those moments that I have to actively pull myself out of it.

And the fact that I can now acknowledge this and actively pull myself out of a dark space like that, is incredible.

However, there are a lot of young girls and children who cannot do the same. Meaning, mentally, they do not have the capacity to pull themselves out of a space like that because their brains are not fully developed.

And so then it's to no surprise that the rate of young girls being sent to the emergency room due to self-inflicted pain, is increasing. This is the same pattern for suicide rates.

Since 2011, the rate of young girls being sent to the emergency room due to self-inflicted pain has increased to 62% in girls between the ages of 15-19 and 189% in girls between the ages of 10-14. This is the same pattern in suicide rates. Suicide rates have increased by 70% in girls between the ages of 15-19 and 151% in girls between the ages of 10-14. (The Social Dilemma Documentary Film, 2020).

All patterns point to social media. And that is terrifying.

Because when I sit and reflect on this, I can recall a time before social media even existed. As 90's babies, we can recall a time before social media. Whereas, nowadays, kids are being introduced at a much younger age. Therefore, for us (90's babies) it's almost easier for us to be able to differentiate the fact that there is an online space and then there is reality.

And it's almost as if that distinction is gone because those lines have been so blurred.

For instance, we used to say things like "BRB" (be right back) or "G2G" (got to go) to indicate that we were leaving the online space. And that's no longer the case.

We have access all day, everyday.

In the palm of our hands.

Before Instagram, we would step away or separate ourselves from the online space and then come home and log back into AOL Instant Messenger, Xanga, MySpace, or Facebook.

However, when Instagram was introduced in 2010, it also introduced the first time that we were sharing our lives online almost instantaneously from the moment that we were experiencing things happen. For the first time we were now able to take a picture on our phone and share it almost simultaneously on Instagram, being the new, trendy photo-sharing, mobile-friendly app that it was.

This was also when we began to become heavily addicted or downright obsessed with our phones because we felt like we had to be on them at all times in order to see what our friends were doing (because... FOMO). And what started out as an innocent, fun, photo-sharing app, quickly turned into a very toxic environment.

Facebook whistleblower:

In a recent article, published by the Wall Street Journal on September 14, 2021, titled, "Facebook Knows Instagram is Toxic for Teens; Facebook Documents Find," studies from Facebook Inc. found that "32% of teen girls said that when they felt bad about their bodies, Instagram made them feel worse." The same researchers also found that "Instagram can change how girls view and describe themselves."

The article discusses how Facebook has conducted research on how Instagram has been affecting its millions of young users and how researchers did in fact find that Instagram is harmful for a large percentage of them, especially for teen girls.

Even more recent, on October 4, 2021, Facebook whistleblower, former employee, Frances Haugen revealed her identity and later testified before the Senate Commerce Committee.

In this approximately five-hour-long hearing, Haugen reveals, unfortunately not to our surprise, what the documents show.

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Note: I did watch the entire hearing, however, there's an immense amount of information; way too much to discuss in this blog.

Please click this link to view the hearing for yourself.

Haugen reveals a lot of important information and statistics, however, I will focus on information pertaining to meaningful social interactions (MSI) and engagement based ranking.

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Haugen shares, "several Facebook research reports indicate that Facebook has a serious negative harm on a significant number of teens and children."

"Facebook has studied a pattern that they call “problematic use” (also known as addiction), and that it has a very high bar for what they say it is:

it says 'you self identify that you don’t have control over your usage and that it is harming your physical and mental health.'

5-6% of 14 year olds do have the self-awareness to admit to this."

Haugen goes on to share, "Facebook knows that parents today, because they’ve never experienced this addictive experience with a piece of technology, they give their children bad advice like, 'well, why don’t you just stop using it?'

When Facebook's own research also shows that they are aware that children express feelings of loneliness and struggling with these things because they can’t even get support from their own parents." (Because their parents don’t know how to relate).

Haugen states that, "Facebook knows that they are leading young users to negative content."

And that, "Facebook knows that its amplification algorithms can lead children from innocent topics to self-harming content in a very short period of time."

"Facebook has done something called, 'pro-active incident response,' where they have tested the scenario, for example, 'can you be led to anorexia content?'

Facebook has tested this and has confirmed, yes, this happens to people."

Haugen also states that, "the dangers with engagement based ranking are that Facebook knows that content that elicits an extreme reaction from you is more likely to get a click, a comment, or a re-share. And it’s interesting because those clicks and comments aren’t necessarily for your benefit; it’s because they know that other people will produce more content if they get the clicks, comments, and re-shares.

They prioritize content in your feed so that you will give little hits of dopamine to your friends so they will create more content

And they have run experiments on people, where they have in fact confirmed this."

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Note: engagement based ranking is when Facebook, and other social media platforms, determine which content they believe is most relevant to users' interest.

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Now what?

All the negative aspects regarding social media, and specifically Instagram, are thoughts that many of us have suspected, as these are things that we have not only noticed, but experienced ourselves.

However, it’s dreadful to know and confirm that Facebook did the research themselves, saw the statistics and still continued to make decisions that were knowingly causing harm to individuals.

It's unfortunate to say that this isn't surprising and yet, it's difficult to answer the question, "now what?"

Because honestly, who the fuck knows?

As I said earlier, this is all still fairly new and as the years progress, the more research that can be done and the more information that we hopefully will have.

As for me personally, I have had one of the biggest eye opening experiences of my life within the past two years.

It's sad to say that I am one of these statistics that I've read about. It broke my heart to sit and watch five hours of a Senate hearing wherein which afterwards, I felt like the past ten years of my life have been a fucking facade.

For years I have allowed myself to use Instagram to shape my values or influence what I deemed to be important, from materialistic goods to my own body image. For years I have opened the app to post an overly-curated, totally staged photo, in attempt to gain some sort of social validation. For years I have scrolled through so many fake photos from influencers that I don't even know or care about to the point where I will probably now have carpal tunnel in a few years because of it.

It's all bullshit, and I'm over it.

Like I said, it has taken me years to get to this realization and it hasn't been easy. I don't know what this means for the future of Facebook and Instagram, but what I do know is that my mindset has completely changed and I am so grateful. Now, I only use Instagram (and all social media) with intention.

Mindful social use:

If anything, my hope is that for anyone that is reading this to understand not only how addictive various social media platforms are intentionally designed to be; but how much of a negative impact it can have on your personal well-being and mental health, unless you are being intentional.

If the past twenty years in the online space has taught me anything it's that: you have to be 100% mindful + intentional about your time spent on a social media platform.

Don't get me wrong, even throughout all of this, I can still very much appreciate social media and the opportunities and connections that it provides (I mean we have essentially built an entire business through socials).

However, I want to emphasize how you can be intentional with your social media use: Remember that it's not easy, but it is necessary.

1. Before you click on the app, ask yourself, "why am I getting on this app right now?" It's totally fine if you're getting on social media just to scroll and view others' content, however, be aware of it and set a time limit. Otherwise, be super intentional about why you're on social media, and write a to-do list if necessary, for example: - answer DM's - respond to comments + engage - post content
   

2. Schedule time throughout your day to be on socials + be realistic about it. What works best for me (most days) is when I schedule it in my calendar or set a time limit to be on socials. For example, one hour in the morning (only after I've done my morning 'routine' first), one hour in the afternoon, and one hour in the evening.
   

3. Set alarms + timers. It's so easy to get lost in the sauce while scrolling. No, seriously. I can (embarrassingly) admit that I have scrolled through TikTok for 3+ hours straight unintentionally, and it's so easy to do this (again because these platforms are designed this way). Therefore, when you set an alarm you can keep track and set healthy boundaries.

The point is... be mindful about your social media use because if you're not careful you'll look back one day, in twenty years, and genuinely feel like you've been a living social experiment scrolling from one social platform to the next.

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